4/12/2007

Kurt Vonnegut Joins Rodney Dangerfield in Heaven



Unlike many readers, I discovered Kurt Vonnegut not through a friendly English teacher or an older brother or a dog-eared copy of Breakfast of Champions found at a local hippie's rummage sale. No, I discovered Vonnegut through his cameo in the Rodney Dangerfield film Back to School.

In Back to School, Dangerfield's character, millionaire Thornton Mellon, has returned to college in order to encourage his son's faltering academic career. Assigned a paper on Kurt Vonnegut, Mellon commissions an essay from the author himself, who (as I recall) appears at the front door of Mellon's spaciously remodeled dormitory suite in the middle of a raging kegger. I still remember seeing Vonnegut's cheerful, rumpled-suit person in the midst of that madness and thinking, "Is that guy real?" To start with, Vonnegut looked like Central Casting's idea of a novelist more than he looked like an actual novelist. And a famous writer -- a writer famous enough to be taught in English classes, anyways -- showing up in a movie that even my 12-year-old self could recognize as somewhat trashy (though awesome) seemed so out of line with the mein of a Serious Writer that I immediately became interested in his work.

Vonnegut's inability to take himself too seriously -- so much so that he was perfectly willing to cameo in a Rodney Dangerfield movie -- characterizes his writing, and it's what made his books the perfect gateway writer for young readers like me moving from genre books to literary fiction. Kurt Vonnegut was the first "serious" writer I ever read, but I read him precisely because he wasn't "serious." His novels were approachable and playful and used plots and techniques I was already familiar with from the sci-fi novels of my youth.

In Back to School, Mellon's essay on Vonnegut -- written by Vonnegut -- gets an F. "Whoever did write this doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut!" Mellon's professor rages. Cut to Mellon on the phone, shouting, "And another thing, Vonnegut! I'm gonna stop payment on the check!" I always liked to imagine a giggling Vonnegut on the other end of this conversation, lighting a cigar with Thornton Mellon's check, delighted to have delivered an intentionally incompetent essay on himself. So it goes!

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2/27/2007

TropeWatch: Putting the "Sex" Back in "Sexagenerian"

1/15/2007
Me, watching the Golden Globes pre-show: "Holy crap, Helen Mirren looks great."

My wife: "Wow."

Me: "Is she kind of... totally hot?"

My wife: "I think she is."




1/15/2007
Defamer.com, as Mirren wins the first of her two awards: "Two words: unexpectedly doable."

1/16/2007
The Hollywood Reporter reveals Mirren's bawdy post-Globes comments:

...Backstage [Mirren] was working blue, cracking jokes about what it means to be an Essex girl ("You know when an Essex girl has an orgasm, she drops her fries"). In fact, the joke carried on to her prospects for an Oscar. "I've never had an 'O.' They said the earth moves," she said. "I can't wait. I'll definitely drop my fries for that."



Mid-January 2007
Mirren appears in a sultry, breast-baring pose on the cover of the February issue of Los Angeles Magazine.

1/23/2007
From ABCnews.com story headlined "Senior Sex Symbols Steal the Screen":

Some might say that no one does a plunging V-neck justice like 61-year-old Helen Mirren.




1/25/2007
Dame Helen is the star of the British Sun's collection of topless shots of all five of Oscar's Best Actress nominees. (Link NSFW.)

Writer Derek Brown, his lust overwhelming his ability to construct a recognizable sentence, pants:

Representing a poignant metaphor of a pair of Wombles’ noses snuffling at a plate of truffles, this modern classic is glandular history at its best on the big screen.


2/4/2007
Damon Dash (!) on Helen Mirren: "She is super, super cute. I tell you, she's just lucky I'm married."


2/25/2007
Michael Sheen on E!'s Oscar pre-show:

She attracts a lot of men and she certainly attracted me. It was a very odd feeling playing scenes obviously with the Queen when you're kind of going, 'She's sexy.'



2/25/2007
The Helen Mirren Is Hott trope reaches its apogee during the Oscar ceremony as Jack Black breaks into his song-n-dance with Will Ferrell:

Helen Mirren? You are just hot. What party are you going to?

The song ends with Black, Ferrell and John C. Reilly singing:

Helen Mirren, and an Oscar, will be coming home with me!




2/26/2007
The trope achieves supersaturation as ESPN's Pardon The Interruption begins with hosts Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon discussing the Oscars:

Wilbon: Tony, the Oscars went almost four hours last night. What was your favorite part?

Kornheiser: The part where Helen Mirren undressed me with her eyes.

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2/17/2007

Either Way, There's Insanity In There

On our way back from vacation we spent a day in Washington, DC, possibly the only market in America where Billy Ray's film Breach is being heavily advertised. It seemed as if radio spots for the movie ran as often on WTOP as traffic and weather on the 8s. (The advertising directors at Washington radio stations must have impressively broad Rolodexes, because companies that would never advertise on the radio anywhere else spend a lot of money advertising on WTOP. The station also played ads for a company that specializes in building ships and helicopters for the Coast Guard, and for the "Homeland Security Expo 2007.")

The movie, in which Chris Cooper plays turncoat spy Robert Hanssen, is getting nice reviews despite having been dumped into the Bermuda Triangle of February.




The radio ads end with one of the clunkiest lines of dialogue I've heard in quite a while. After Laura Linney's character explains the deaths Hanssen may have caused and the damage he's done to American espionage, Cooper says, portentuously:



HANSSEN
Maybe I'm insane. Or maybe I'm insanely brave.

[Pause]

Take your pick.

[Pause]

Either way, there's insanity in there.




Now I'm no screenwriter, but I think I can identify a clear case of overwriting when I hear it. The first part of the line is already a little on-the-nose (though I think I'm remembering it even more lamely than it was written). But if the screenwriters had left it there, probably the line would've worked okay. After a pause, though, they can't resist giving Hanssen a little fillip, a button to make the line seem cooler.

And even that probably would have been fine. But then, after another pause, Hanssen spells out the line for dummies, in case they didn't get it. This dialogue reminds me of nothing so much as a particularly silly Will Ferrell improvisation. In fact, if you read the line in Ferrell's Talladega Nights accent, it becomes quite funny. I can imagine a fourth line, added after an excruciatingly long pause: "Did you get that? Insanity. I unpacked the deft rhetorical trick folded into my initial statement."

Then he would nod.

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2/07/2007

Vacay

We are off for a week in the sun -- escaping the bone-shattering cold just in time.

In the meantime, the Cribbie nominations have been released. Hollywood cheers and weeps, you know, depending.

Choice quote from the press release:

Matt Damon's nomination for Best Actor in THE DEPARTED came as a sweet surprise. "Despite the fact that I gave the best performance in that movie," Damon said in an interview, "everyone fucking ignored me in favor of Leo, and Jack, and goddamn Marky Mark. Marky Mark! This Cribbies nomination is pretty great. Suck it, everyone else." Asked how it felt to be nominated five times in his career, Damon said it felt great. "I'm proud of all five nominations, with the possible exception of my nomination for Best Bit Part in 2005, when I was nominated as a puppet version of myself who could only retardedly slur my own name, in TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE."

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1/23/2007

A Letter to 1991

Dear 1991,

It's totally great here in the future! You don't even know about the Internet yet, but let me tell you, it's fantastic. You'll love the ready access to information and the way it dissolves boundaries. Overall, technology in the future is outstanding -- cell phones are really small and powerful, and there's a device called the iPod (not a typo!) that can store thousands of songs in a tiny box smaller than a Walkman. Also, videotapes have been replaced by DVDs, which look like compact discs but hold movies. They're like smaller, much more affordable laserdiscs. You can buy every episode of "The Simpsons" on these DVDs and watch them whenever you want. Yeah, "The Simpsons" is still on! Amazing, right?

The world's still in a lot of trouble, but that's nothing new. The post-Soviet world is just as dangerous as the Cold War, what with increased terrorism, rogue states with nuclear capabilities, and genocide still rampant. American troops are in Iraq -- no, no, they haven't been there the whole time, they took a 12-year break between you and 2003. Saddam Hussein is finally dead, so that's good news.

Well, I think that's all I have to tell you, 1991. Have a good one. Oh, I forgot to mention, but Marky Mark and the Fresh Prince are Oscar nominees.





Sincerely,
2007

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1/22/2007

Oscar Predictions

Far more knowledgeable commentators than I are making better predictions than these for tomorrow morning's Oscar nominations, but who am not to stick my neck out?

PICTURE
BABEL / THE DEPARTED / DREAMGIRLS / LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE / THE QUEEN
Wild card: Letters From Iwo Jima
Sadly missing: Children of Men

DIRECTOR
Bill Condon, DREAMGIRLS / Stephen Frears, THE QUEEN / Alejandro González Iñárritu, BABEL / Paul Greengrass, UNITED 93 / Martin Scorsese, THE DEPARTED
Wild card: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
Sadly missing: Robert Altman, A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION

ACTOR
Leonardo DiCaprio, THE DEPARTED / Ryan Gosling, HALF NELSON / Peter O'Toole, VENUS / Will Smith, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS / Forest Whitaker, THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
Wild card: Ken Watanabe, LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
Sadly missing: Matt Damon, THE DEPARTED

ACTRESS
Penelope Cruz, VOLVER / Judi Dench, NOTES ON A SCANDAL / Helen Mirren, THE QUEEN / Meryl Streep, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA / Kate Winslet, LITTLE CHILDREN
Wild card: Maggie Gyllenhaal, SHERRYBABY
Sadly missing: Kirsten Dunst, MARIE ANTOINETTE

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Arkin, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE / Eddie Murphy, DREAMGIRLS / Jack Nicholson, THE DEPARTED / Brad Pitt, BABEL / Mark Wahlberg, THE DEPARTED
Wild card: Jackie Earle Haley, LITTLE CHILDREN
Sadly missing: Samuel Barnett, THE HISTORY BOYS

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Cate Blanchett, NOTES ON A SCANDAL / Emily Blunt, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA / Toni Collette, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE / Jennifer Hudson, DREAMGIRLS / Rinko Kikuchi, BABEL
Wild card: Adriana Barraza, BABEL
Sadly missing: Frances McDormand, FRIENDS WITH MONEY

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
BABEL / LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE / THE QUEEN / UNITED 93 / VOLVER
Wild card: PAN'S LABYRINTH
Sadly missing: INSIDE MAN

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
CHILDREN OF MEN / THE DEPARTED / DREAMGIRLS / LITTLE CHILDREN / NOTES ON A SCANDAL
Wild card: BORAT
Sadly missing: TRISTAM SHANDY: A COCK AND BULL STORY


Tomorrow: How I could have been so wrong!

And of course, the Oscars are just a warm-up for Hollywood's most prestigious movie awards: The Cribbies.

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1/05/2007

Children of Men

The Mexican director Alfonso Cuarón's new film, Children of Men, has flown mostly under the radar this awards season -- a surprise, given the high profile of Cuarón's previous two projects, the teenage fever dream Y Tu Mamá También and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the most energetic and inventive of all the boy wizard's films. But Universal, Children of Men's studio, seems to have thrown up its hands at the challenges of marketing the film, releasing it to little fanfare or advertising on Christmas Day -- very late in the game, and the precise day of the year that audiences would find Cuarón's bitter vision of the future most difficult to swallow. They've even given the film an absurd tagline ("No children. No future. No hope.") that seems scientifically designed to be as unappealing as possible. Given the overall grimness of Children of Men's conceit, it's easy to see why Universal is making such a hash of it. Given the quality of the film, however, it's a real shame: Children of Men is the best picture of the year. It's also, surprisingly, one of the most hopeful.

Set in 2027, eighteen years after a mysterious blight has robbed the human race of its fertility, Children of Men begins with a series of unnerving jolts delivered its sad-sack hero, Theo Faron (Clive Owen). He manages to make it through the first two -- his London neighborhood is bombed, and he's thrown into a van by armed kidnappers -- mostly unscathed, but it's the third shock that really undoes him: an encounter with his ex-wife Julian. Perhaps Theo could have survived this one too, if only Julian weren't played by Julianne Moore, in a hardened, tricky role as a radical who's a fiercer cousin to the character she's portraying on Broadway in David Hare's The Vertical Hour.

Julian asks Theo for help smuggling a refugee across the border, and because Theo still loves Julian and mourns the child they lost years ago, he agrees to help. Theo and Julian meet the refugee, Kee (Clare-Hope Ashitey), and pack her into a car for a drive through the blighted countryside; Cuarón allows his heroes a moment of banter, a goofy, graceful look at the love Theo and Julian once shared, before the car is attacked and the film launches into an hour of seemingly unceasing, gut-wrenching action.

Clive Owen in Children of Men


In this Britain, shorn of hope by years of infertility, the cities are papered with advertisements for suicide pills and anti-immigrant propaganda. The countryside is a no-man's-land dotted with piles of burning animal corpses under an angry gray sky. Visually, Cuarón's future is stark and striking (the cinematography is by Cuarón's frequent collaborator Emmanuel Lubezki) but not particularly innovative; it owes debts to the designs of Brazil, Minority Report and other sci-fi. But Cuarón and his four co-screenwriters (and P.D. James, who wrote the novel from which the film is adapted) have given great thought to the psychic damage wreaked on a world without children; as the film opens, the nation mourns the death of Baby Diego, the youngest person on Earth, shot and killed at age eighteen. (Londoners lay bouquets in makeshift memorials, just as they do for the People's Princess in this year's other film of Britain in crisis, The Queen.)

Children of Men calls to mind Brian K. Vaughan's comic-book series Y: The Last Man, set in a similarly blighted future -- one in which all men but one have died. In Vaughan's future, women take care to create simulacra of male companionship: masculine women are prized, and one Japanese entrepreneur has made a fortune renting out male animatronic robots. The London of Children of Men has no similar pluck, perhaps because unlike Vaughan's series, which takes place in the immediate aftermath of catastrophe, Children of Men takes place eighteen years after anyone's had a child. Lethargy and fatalism have overtaken most Londoners; why maintain schools, or enjoy great art, or even treat your sewage, if there will never be anyone to follow you on Earth? Why not just pop a suicide pill (a Quietus, in the script's clever branding) and sleep forever?

Just the sound of a baby's cry can bring hardened soldiers to tears in 2027, so you can imagine Theo's shock when he discovers that Kee, the refugee he's helping to smuggle across the border, is eight months pregnant. ("It takes nine months?" Kee touchingly says, a young woman who's never held a baby in her life.) With Julian's radical compatriots after Theo and Kee, and the government after the radicals, the movie is a series of chases, each fraught with peril for not only our heroes but for the fate of humankind. Films that put babies -- born or unborn -- in peril often can feel like the worst kind of exploitation, but in the case of Children of Men Cuarón's humanism leavens such tough material. Such is his control over his film that viewers can trust he will not lead them astray.

As for Cuarón's technical virtuosity, it's nearly unparalleled among modern directors; three sequences in Children of Men rank among the most impressive achievements in contemporary film in seamlessly incorporating subtle effects work to build fluid, single-take shots that feel utterly compelling and convincing. A long battle and chase shot from inside a crowded car has been justly lauded for its technical achievement, but another scene later in the story -- the events of which I can't reveal, for fear of spoiling the film -- is much more low-key but equally astonishing. Cuarón shoots a commonplace event -- one that I've never seen portrayed convincingly in cinema -- in one take in a dark, cruddy refugee shelter, and he nails it.

The heart of the movie is Theo's evolution from broken and defeated to committed and hopeful; this reclamation project is aided by the luminous Kee, whom Ashitey makes likeable and funny, and Jasper, Theo's pot-growing best friend (an engaging Michael Caine), who comes to Theo's spiritual and practical aid in times of crisis. Clive Owen's portrayal of Theo is a subtle but powerful piece of acting; Theo transforms from a man who can barely dredge a response to a terrorist bombing to a man whose face opens up with love in the middle of a war zone.




Clare-Hope Ashitey in Children of Men


As Universal's dismal tagline suggests, a society without children lacks a future. But such is Cuarón's embrace of his characters' humanity that Children of Men winds up positing the inverse: that the prospect of even a single child can raise hope unlimited even in those who had thought themselves lost. For such a grim-faced film, Children of Men has a joyful heart. Alfonso Cuarón, it turns out, believes the children are the future.

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