1/29/2007

The White Blazer

James has a fantastic ode to the majesty of Miami Vice's gun battles over on Moistworks today:

What really left me flush was gun play. The mad dance of exit wounds, muzzle flash, spent casings pinging off the warehouse bitumen. No one choreographs this dance in the editor's suite quite like Michael Mann. For Mann, the bullet in flight is an Objet d'Art. Mann loved the MAC-10 too. With its short barrel and protracted magazine, the MAC-10 could introduce bullets into a scene faster and more inaccurately than any other weapon. And with Mann, the mastery was in the bullets that missed as much the ones that found the mark.


The music in Miami Vice was famously sleek and crucial to the show's moods, and James nails a bunch of the iconic songs from the show. But as a kid, I played and replayed one particular track from my copy of Miami Vice II, the sequel to the soundtrack: "Crockett's Theme," by Jan Hammer. More stately and elegant than Hammer's famous title music, "Crockett's Theme" played, a cursory Google search reveals, during many episodes of the show. I particularly remember the song, though, as playing during a climactic night-time shootout in, I don't know, some episode, in which the girl Sonny Crockett loved was killed. The shootout was shot in gorgeous slow motion, complete with Crockett yelling "No!!!" and the episode fading to black.

As a kid, I spent hours in my room, re-enacting this shootout alone, "Crockett's Theme" on endless repeat on my first CD player. For maximum verisimilitude, I used my best water gun, a jet-black plastic Uzi manufactured in the days before fear of hooligans rendered all water guns bright orange or cartoon-shaped. In slow motion I would aim, shoot, dive for cover, shout out to my beloved, take a bullet to the chest, scream "No!!!", all synched perfectly to Jan Hammer's synthesized beats. I must have been around twelve, and (I realize now) weirdly preoccupied with the artful choreography of death scenes.

Sadly, my love of Miami Vice extended past solitary, imagined shootouts in my bedroom; when my dad invited me to accompany him to the Wisconsin Press Club's annual dinner, which he was hosting, I wore a terrible outfit that appears to have been inspired by Miami Vice, with an added dash of Midwestern style:


Circa 1986, with Milwaukee radio personalities Reitman & Mueller


Tragic.

Jan Hammer: "Crockett's Theme"
from Miami Vice II (1986)

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1/23/2007

A Letter to 1991

Dear 1991,

It's totally great here in the future! You don't even know about the Internet yet, but let me tell you, it's fantastic. You'll love the ready access to information and the way it dissolves boundaries. Overall, technology in the future is outstanding -- cell phones are really small and powerful, and there's a device called the iPod (not a typo!) that can store thousands of songs in a tiny box smaller than a Walkman. Also, videotapes have been replaced by DVDs, which look like compact discs but hold movies. They're like smaller, much more affordable laserdiscs. You can buy every episode of "The Simpsons" on these DVDs and watch them whenever you want. Yeah, "The Simpsons" is still on! Amazing, right?

The world's still in a lot of trouble, but that's nothing new. The post-Soviet world is just as dangerous as the Cold War, what with increased terrorism, rogue states with nuclear capabilities, and genocide still rampant. American troops are in Iraq -- no, no, they haven't been there the whole time, they took a 12-year break between you and 2003. Saddam Hussein is finally dead, so that's good news.

Well, I think that's all I have to tell you, 1991. Have a good one. Oh, I forgot to mention, but Marky Mark and the Fresh Prince are Oscar nominees.





Sincerely,
2007

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1/22/2007

Oscar Predictions

Far more knowledgeable commentators than I are making better predictions than these for tomorrow morning's Oscar nominations, but who am not to stick my neck out?

PICTURE
BABEL / THE DEPARTED / DREAMGIRLS / LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE / THE QUEEN
Wild card: Letters From Iwo Jima
Sadly missing: Children of Men

DIRECTOR
Bill Condon, DREAMGIRLS / Stephen Frears, THE QUEEN / Alejandro González Iñárritu, BABEL / Paul Greengrass, UNITED 93 / Martin Scorsese, THE DEPARTED
Wild card: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
Sadly missing: Robert Altman, A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION

ACTOR
Leonardo DiCaprio, THE DEPARTED / Ryan Gosling, HALF NELSON / Peter O'Toole, VENUS / Will Smith, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS / Forest Whitaker, THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
Wild card: Ken Watanabe, LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
Sadly missing: Matt Damon, THE DEPARTED

ACTRESS
Penelope Cruz, VOLVER / Judi Dench, NOTES ON A SCANDAL / Helen Mirren, THE QUEEN / Meryl Streep, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA / Kate Winslet, LITTLE CHILDREN
Wild card: Maggie Gyllenhaal, SHERRYBABY
Sadly missing: Kirsten Dunst, MARIE ANTOINETTE

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Arkin, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE / Eddie Murphy, DREAMGIRLS / Jack Nicholson, THE DEPARTED / Brad Pitt, BABEL / Mark Wahlberg, THE DEPARTED
Wild card: Jackie Earle Haley, LITTLE CHILDREN
Sadly missing: Samuel Barnett, THE HISTORY BOYS

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Cate Blanchett, NOTES ON A SCANDAL / Emily Blunt, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA / Toni Collette, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE / Jennifer Hudson, DREAMGIRLS / Rinko Kikuchi, BABEL
Wild card: Adriana Barraza, BABEL
Sadly missing: Frances McDormand, FRIENDS WITH MONEY

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
BABEL / LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE / THE QUEEN / UNITED 93 / VOLVER
Wild card: PAN'S LABYRINTH
Sadly missing: INSIDE MAN

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
CHILDREN OF MEN / THE DEPARTED / DREAMGIRLS / LITTLE CHILDREN / NOTES ON A SCANDAL
Wild card: BORAT
Sadly missing: TRISTAM SHANDY: A COCK AND BULL STORY


Tomorrow: How I could have been so wrong!

And of course, the Oscars are just a warm-up for Hollywood's most prestigious movie awards: The Cribbies.

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1/18/2007

It Looks Like You're Blowing a Gasket! Can I Help?

From the New York Times comes evidence that the new version of Microsoft Word might finally cut down on the bloat that's made Word, for years, the most annoying software that everyone still has to use. The "ribbon," which supposedly replaces all the formatting submenus, is meant to contain every tool you could possibly need. (It had better, since one of the quirks of the new Word is that there's no menu customization. Never use a feature? Want to remove it? Too bad.)


The new MS Word "ribbon"


Of course, Microsoft several years ago demoted the most irritating feature in MS Word, Clippy, the paperclip-shaped Microsoft Office Assistant.


Clippy


I don't know anyone in whom the sudden appearance of Clippy, spouting his inaccurate assumptions about your writing habits ("It looks like you're writing a letter! Can I help?"), did not cause immediate, all-consuming rage. Such was the universal recognition of, and hatred for, Clippy that I once saw the audience at an improv show laugh hysterically at Clippy's popping up at an inappropriate moment ("It looks like you're writing a suicide note! Can I help?") and cheer wildly at his death.


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1/09/2007

Jackin' Pop

To my excitement, I was asked to participate in the first annual Idolator Jackin' Pop music poll last month. That this is the first year I've been asked to vote in a music poll is a real shame, since this is the first year I've been almost totally unprepared to vote in such a poll. I am just behind the curve enough on pop music that it was only this fall that I really felt like I'd heard most of the notable releases of 2005.

Thankfully, mp3 bloggers were there to help me pick up the slack, and a flurry of last-minute downloading, purchasing, and listening helped me finish my ballot just under the wire. Certainly there were holes in my listening -- for example, I still haven't listened to Ys all the way through -- but I feel only a little unsatisfied with my albums list and very happy with my singles list.

Some of the songs on my singles list will be familiar to most music fans who listen to the radio, like the Justin Timberlake/TI song or the Rihanna song. Some others might be less known to you. Three of my favorites represent the evolving ways I experienced new music in 2006.

Marit Larsen: "Only a Fool" One side effect of learning about new music solely through mp3 blogs is that I now often grow to love songs by bands or singers about whom I know absolutely nothing. This never would have happened five years ago; then I read everything about every band in magazines and websites, and I got my music by buying CDs, which meant I could read the liner notes, look at the picture on the sleeve, and begin to form a context for the songs I liked or didn't like. But though I love this catchy pop song more than anything else I heard this year, I haven't gotten around to learning more about Marit Larsen -- who she is, where she's from, even what she looks like. Eventually I'm sure I will buy her album, but it hasn't happened yet, so I imagine her as a short-haired blonde in a calico dress, sort of a countryfied version of Helen Slater in Ruthless People.

Fam-Lay: "Skrunt Owt" Most of the hip-hop I listened to this year was either a couple of years old, or the same new stuff everyone else was listening to (Ghostface, Clipse, and other critical favorites). I found this song on an mp3 blog this summer and loved it every time it came around the shuffle. Again, I know nothing about the band, although their intonation sounds so Hustle & Flow that I assume they're from Memphis.

Paul Simon: "Father and Daughter" One of the few albums I purchased the traditional way this year -- i.e., I read something about it in an actual newspaper, I saw it in a record store, purchased it and brought it home in a bag and everything -- Paul Simon's Surprise was somewhat disappointing, but this song is quite lovely. Apparently it was used in a children's movie last year, and was even nominated for an Oscar. It's a sweet song whose effect on me confirmed that having a kid turns you into a big emotional doofus.

Marit Larsen: "Only a Fool"

Fam-Lay: "Skrunt Owt"

Paul Simon: "Father and Daughter"

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1/05/2007

Children of Men

The Mexican director Alfonso Cuarón's new film, Children of Men, has flown mostly under the radar this awards season -- a surprise, given the high profile of Cuarón's previous two projects, the teenage fever dream Y Tu Mamá También and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the most energetic and inventive of all the boy wizard's films. But Universal, Children of Men's studio, seems to have thrown up its hands at the challenges of marketing the film, releasing it to little fanfare or advertising on Christmas Day -- very late in the game, and the precise day of the year that audiences would find Cuarón's bitter vision of the future most difficult to swallow. They've even given the film an absurd tagline ("No children. No future. No hope.") that seems scientifically designed to be as unappealing as possible. Given the overall grimness of Children of Men's conceit, it's easy to see why Universal is making such a hash of it. Given the quality of the film, however, it's a real shame: Children of Men is the best picture of the year. It's also, surprisingly, one of the most hopeful.

Set in 2027, eighteen years after a mysterious blight has robbed the human race of its fertility, Children of Men begins with a series of unnerving jolts delivered its sad-sack hero, Theo Faron (Clive Owen). He manages to make it through the first two -- his London neighborhood is bombed, and he's thrown into a van by armed kidnappers -- mostly unscathed, but it's the third shock that really undoes him: an encounter with his ex-wife Julian. Perhaps Theo could have survived this one too, if only Julian weren't played by Julianne Moore, in a hardened, tricky role as a radical who's a fiercer cousin to the character she's portraying on Broadway in David Hare's The Vertical Hour.

Julian asks Theo for help smuggling a refugee across the border, and because Theo still loves Julian and mourns the child they lost years ago, he agrees to help. Theo and Julian meet the refugee, Kee (Clare-Hope Ashitey), and pack her into a car for a drive through the blighted countryside; Cuarón allows his heroes a moment of banter, a goofy, graceful look at the love Theo and Julian once shared, before the car is attacked and the film launches into an hour of seemingly unceasing, gut-wrenching action.

Clive Owen in Children of Men


In this Britain, shorn of hope by years of infertility, the cities are papered with advertisements for suicide pills and anti-immigrant propaganda. The countryside is a no-man's-land dotted with piles of burning animal corpses under an angry gray sky. Visually, Cuarón's future is stark and striking (the cinematography is by Cuarón's frequent collaborator Emmanuel Lubezki) but not particularly innovative; it owes debts to the designs of Brazil, Minority Report and other sci-fi. But Cuarón and his four co-screenwriters (and P.D. James, who wrote the novel from which the film is adapted) have given great thought to the psychic damage wreaked on a world without children; as the film opens, the nation mourns the death of Baby Diego, the youngest person on Earth, shot and killed at age eighteen. (Londoners lay bouquets in makeshift memorials, just as they do for the People's Princess in this year's other film of Britain in crisis, The Queen.)

Children of Men calls to mind Brian K. Vaughan's comic-book series Y: The Last Man, set in a similarly blighted future -- one in which all men but one have died. In Vaughan's future, women take care to create simulacra of male companionship: masculine women are prized, and one Japanese entrepreneur has made a fortune renting out male animatronic robots. The London of Children of Men has no similar pluck, perhaps because unlike Vaughan's series, which takes place in the immediate aftermath of catastrophe, Children of Men takes place eighteen years after anyone's had a child. Lethargy and fatalism have overtaken most Londoners; why maintain schools, or enjoy great art, or even treat your sewage, if there will never be anyone to follow you on Earth? Why not just pop a suicide pill (a Quietus, in the script's clever branding) and sleep forever?

Just the sound of a baby's cry can bring hardened soldiers to tears in 2027, so you can imagine Theo's shock when he discovers that Kee, the refugee he's helping to smuggle across the border, is eight months pregnant. ("It takes nine months?" Kee touchingly says, a young woman who's never held a baby in her life.) With Julian's radical compatriots after Theo and Kee, and the government after the radicals, the movie is a series of chases, each fraught with peril for not only our heroes but for the fate of humankind. Films that put babies -- born or unborn -- in peril often can feel like the worst kind of exploitation, but in the case of Children of Men Cuarón's humanism leavens such tough material. Such is his control over his film that viewers can trust he will not lead them astray.

As for Cuarón's technical virtuosity, it's nearly unparalleled among modern directors; three sequences in Children of Men rank among the most impressive achievements in contemporary film in seamlessly incorporating subtle effects work to build fluid, single-take shots that feel utterly compelling and convincing. A long battle and chase shot from inside a crowded car has been justly lauded for its technical achievement, but another scene later in the story -- the events of which I can't reveal, for fear of spoiling the film -- is much more low-key but equally astonishing. Cuarón shoots a commonplace event -- one that I've never seen portrayed convincingly in cinema -- in one take in a dark, cruddy refugee shelter, and he nails it.

The heart of the movie is Theo's evolution from broken and defeated to committed and hopeful; this reclamation project is aided by the luminous Kee, whom Ashitey makes likeable and funny, and Jasper, Theo's pot-growing best friend (an engaging Michael Caine), who comes to Theo's spiritual and practical aid in times of crisis. Clive Owen's portrayal of Theo is a subtle but powerful piece of acting; Theo transforms from a man who can barely dredge a response to a terrorist bombing to a man whose face opens up with love in the middle of a war zone.




Clare-Hope Ashitey in Children of Men


As Universal's dismal tagline suggests, a society without children lacks a future. But such is Cuarón's embrace of his characters' humanity that Children of Men winds up positing the inverse: that the prospect of even a single child can raise hope unlimited even in those who had thought themselves lost. For such a grim-faced film, Children of Men has a joyful heart. Alfonso Cuarón, it turns out, believes the children are the future.

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